Wednesday, February 10, 2016

From Dixieland with Lev

Candidate master Lev Zilbermintz [pictured, left], not to be confused with Lord Tennyson [pictured, right], sends this poem.

DEFEATING CHEAP SHOTS, WHAT IF THE SOUTH WON? 

Once again after time of licking his chess wounds, 
Comes the Yellow Coward, 
His yellow cowardice knows no bounds,
But now that cheap shots are his weapon, he comes forward. 

Yellow, yellow, yellow, yellow! Yellow Coward! 
With shaking hands he moves pieces, 
Scared to death of gambits and unorthodox openings, 
The Yellow Coward is left to his own devices. 

This time the coward’s devious mind has a nefarious plan, 
Using cheap shots, he will play a game of hit-and-run, 
Not the honorable tactics of General Robert E. Lee, 
Yet the yellow cowardice will be exposed for the world to see! 

Cheap shots require a lot of attention and skill to beat back, 
One careless move, and the cheap shots might succeed, 
But did not the South in 1861 from the Union secede? 
And the great General Lee was the master of attack? 

Confederate troops move forward against cheap shots, 
And the ranks close solid against nefarious tricks, 
The Yellow Coward, cheap shots beaten off, is getting his licks, 
Stars and Bars fly over the enemy positions, 
The enemy surrenders to General Lee, 
In binoculars, the federal high command a complete rout does see. 

The Blackmar-Diemer, the Zilbermintz Benoni, the Tennison, 
And other gambits does the Yellow Coward try to avoid, 
He is scared out of his mind of unorthodox openings and gambits, 
Of courage and fair tactics the coward is completely devoid, 
So instead, the coward will attempt cheap shots, dirty tricks, 
Well, to his rear he will get a real number of hard kicks! 

Slowly the cheap shots are beaten off and pieces traded, 
Into the endgame the Yellow Coward is taken, 
‘Tis a place which he would rather have evaded, 
For you see, the Yellow Coward is not good at the endgame, 
Stars and Bars fly over the enemy parapets, 
The coward’s excuses are soft and lame. 

Soon surrender arrives, and the Yellow Coward stops the clock, 
Oh, but now there is no Appomattox here today! 
Nay, courage and bravery have carried the cause thus far, 
Bards will sing long about this battle for years, 
General Grant has surrendered to General Lee, 
Over the chess board, the Yellow Coward lays down his lone king, 
Departing, his cheap shots beaten off, whining like a beaten dog, 
Weeping salty, angry tears. 

Lev D. Zilbermintz
October 30, 2015